Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
