i would punch a child for taco bell
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
