You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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