break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
