hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I didn't shave. On purpose
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
