So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
