I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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