He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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