No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
