I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
