cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
