if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Randomize
