I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
