The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
