i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
