I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
