i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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