so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
