Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
