I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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