Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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