the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
