ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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