You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
