last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
