when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
