How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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