HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
