I wanna bring you to show and tell
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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