They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
