Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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