Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
should my penis look like a turkey
This beer is not sobering me up at all
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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