My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
