I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
