OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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