where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Randomize
