what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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