You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
do herpes really smell.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
