You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
