How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize