brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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