Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
