there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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