Kiss
Puke
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
