Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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