I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
