my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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