He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
All I want is dick and wine.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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