OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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