We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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