he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
smell my finger.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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